My diary 30/9/14

The new coaching skills are not kicking in very well, I can't help teaching in the usual way :( ...Josh has some friends that I can ask if they will be my guinea pigs...they will benefit from free lessons as I will become the student....it really looks like an awesome way for Learners to learn how to drive...watch this space.

I had some cancellations, so fairly quiet day. Baby girl came round this afternoon as I got back, shrieking "nanny, nanny" ....from the car as she spotted me jumping out of mine on the drive.

I hadn't realised so I came in carrying my bags and put the kettle on. Francesca was carried in by her mum, crying...apparently she broke her heart that I came inside rather than going to get her from the car. I felt so bad, and so loved. I calmed her down, cuddling her. I love her so much...she has a kind, joyful heart...and is so affectionate.

I discovered Pete had put 'wheels on the bus" on very loud ...music blaring from one of his computers in the office...both trying to entice her away from her nanny...and to try and take my place as current number 1 on the grandparent list. Of course this is not an official list...just one I concoct in my mind. But I still love that I am firmly in place at number 1! Voted in by...me.

The diet has been consistent....now on day 6...not one carbohydrate of any significance has passed my lips...my stomach is still resembling a full time pregnancy, I am constantly tired, and already have gone off food, as the constant meet/cheese diet is just not appetising.

I do hope I can keep it up and actually start losing weight. My brother sent me a photo of his newly fitted 'feed tube' protruding from his stomach. Bless him...knowing he won't be able to taste food or swallow it very soon , once treatment begins..keeps me grounded...if I fancy anything yummy I will
remember David can't swallow and will be in agony.

Surely I can stick to this diet, to help me kickstart a fitter body....might have to exercise to...maybe next week...

I'm not worried about my appearance but know I'm doing mysel no favours being overweight and unfit. I know God made me this way...but I've stretched it a bit too much....

I wished I lived closer to my brother. I'm grateful for prayer...that I can still do something for him at this distance.

Lord please keep him in your care, in your loving arms and Bless him as he stays a night in the
hospital, please grant him the Peace that passes all understanding, and please heal him of this scary disease Lord, Amen x

My diary 29/9/2014

Today mostly has been an excellent day. A coaching course with other driving instructors at a most beautiful venue. Waking up to a foggy morning I was excited for the day ahead.  After dropping Andrew at school I did a quick run to Sainsburys for a bigger handbag to fit in my A4 diary, my IPad to take notes, tissues and a bag of mini assorted cheeses. (Atkins diet rejuvenated for a  kick start to necessary weight loss).

New bag...perfect and not too expensive - filled with essentials, I drove through the beautiful grounds of the Donnington Grove golf club...over a beautiful white bridge, the greens sprawling out either side, leading down to a beautiful lake , edged with enormous ancient trees....the sun now shining...bringing back memories of a dear friends wedding a few years earlier....lost in the beauty of the old 'castle' like building, I managed a very bad reverse park...good job I didn't have my instructors top box on.

Running in late via the Ladies...I enjoyed a day of teaching with some friends and some strangers. I had every intention of using my newly honed skills...unfortunately my lesson at 6pm didn't quite reflect the coaching ability I had hoped to reach...I guess practice makes perfect.

Home to cook for Tom and Jem...Tom's first day at his new job in an Accountants practice. So proud of him...only just 2 months after major brain surgery, Praise The Lord for answered prayer...in fact more than we had asked for...long before we could have imagined. You are an awesome God.

Cauliflower cheese made in haste  (roast dinner lacked this popular dish yesterday).... A quick shepherds pie dished up just as they walked in...left them to eat as left for my lesson.

It was good to see them if only for a fleeting moment.....for that moment was precious...a snapshot in time...Tom well, recovered, excited...Jem although a little poorly today, smiling, content...a moment to cherish, to thank God for.

The lesson was a first after a long break...someone coming back after emotional roller coaster, with a fresh anticipation and enthusiasm to succeed in passing her test. A lovely girl, excellent driver...the lesson went well, she has remembered so much ...so happy for her.

The house is quiet other than a distant 'guitar solo' from the 'playroom' upstairs...Josh enjoying writing and playing his own music...another 'moment'

A hug, kiss and cup of tea from my lovely husband, a catch up with our youngest Andrew, GCSE English apparently going to plan...although any evidence is being kept under wraps...slight suspicion we may need to dig deeper very soon...

Relaxing, catching up on Facebook...

Thinking of my brother I ring him for a chat ...he sounds good...updates me on plan for his treatment...he sent me a photo of his mask freshly made ready for intensive radiotherapy....now the reality kicks in....tears roll down my cheeks, my heart breaks again for him...for the next few weeks ....

A reminder that life is a roller coaster, there are highs and lows...never knowing what tomorrow may bring....'don't worry about tomorrow for today has enough troubles of it own'....Matthew 6 v 34 ..Lord without your word, without your promises...life would be unbearable....but with you there is Hope...there is always hope.

I cling to that and place my brother into your Hands, and his family, that you will Bless them on this new journey,every step of the way, strengthen them, love them, carry them, fill them with The Peace that passes all understanding as they look ahead to brighter days...Thank you Lord, Amen.